Week 23... Click, Click... Freeze Police!

by - June 01, 2016

So ya know how I was starting to become overwhelmed by my hectic schedule? I no longer have to worry about that. The retail store that WAS carrying my company's products (I since terminated his contract) and I was working for part time, currently closed... Some crazy stuff has been going on that's been making me feel like I'm in an episode of my favorite crime show. (aka Hawaii Five -0) The owner was arrested, Friday, on a bunch of criminal drug charges. Who knew my life could be so exciting. So with that turn of events, I am now unemployed... Thank God. In the begining I was upset because I wanted to be independent and help out as much as I could for as long as I could. This apparent drug dealer/supplier/dumbass kinda puts a big ol rain cloud right over my parade.
As much as I would like to day dream about living an exciting life on the edge, I am not meant to be in such a thrilling and dangerous atmosphere. Especially with my son on the way. This was the cherry on top of my final decision to move. Ohio used to be such a nice place to raise a child, but things have changed since I have been gone, and I accept that. Acceptance, one of those traits I have been working on.

When I told Michael about whats been going with my boss and the store, he just laughed. I always seem to find myself in the strangest of situations. I tried to get him to take this seriously since at the time I was completely freaking out. Instead he made jokes about how of course these things would be going on and I would be entirely blinded by my naiveté, and how we better get a move on getting me out west so I don't end up getting myself put in jail. Apparently, he thinks I need a babysitter... and more street smarts. I'm ok with who I am. I have no desire to be a bad bitch, apart of some hood hustle, or any kind of trap queen. Definitely not going to raise my son that way either.

On a note with much less hustle, with all this extra free time I have been able to relax a little. I have been spending time focusing on finding a new doctor and delivery hospital, and getting things ready for Utah. My trip is only a week away and I don't want to waste any time. It's a very short trip with Michael's work schedule so there will not be another chance to get everything figured out. Also, we decided to take some time for us and have some family fun. So we planned a mini trip to Zion National Park while I am there. I am really excited because its one of Michael's favorite places and I have never been. I have a pretty big check list of things we need to do in such a short amount of time. (Yes another check list. Don't judge me, lists are my thing) While planning everything I am constantly being reminded to relax. Little does he know having everything planned out perfectly IS how I relax. When the words "I thought you were going to try not to stress?" come unknowingly flying out of his mouth, I just smile, shake my head and tell him he is right. Makes him feel good and doesn't hurt me none. So why not?

Milo has been moving around like a salsa dancer this past week. I went from not feeling him at all to starting to learn his schedule. He loves to dance right as I'm laying down for bed. When I awake in the morning, I must wake him up because he is a bit more cranky in his movements. I can't wait to see how Michael reacts feeling him move for the first time. I hope it's everything that I have pictured, but like I learned before. I am not getting my expectations too high. I just hope he enjoys it. I know I do. I feel bad that he has missed so much already but he isn't really the "goes to every appointment" type. He would mostly have been going for me anyways. Maybe the ultrasounds and gender reveal, but normal check ups, probably wouldn't have found him there. It's ok though, I accept it. He is working hard to provide for us and that is how he shows support. He is pretty manly that way I guess. I'm glad we have been getting along so well lately. I realized most of our fights before didn't have much to do with us. They were mostly brought on by the resort, southern utah's prison of misery.
Hopefully we can keep it up because Milo's arrival is getting closer and closer.

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