Week 20... Half Way To Crazy Town

by - May 12, 2016

20 weeks!!! Finally made it to the half way point! My pregnancy is almost over and I'm not sure how I feel about that one bit... I'm excited to meet my baby, hold him, and just look at him all day, but I don't feel ready. There is so much I still need to do and get prepared before he comes. Anytime, I think of what all still needs done, it's like looking into this black hole of an abyss. Normally, people wouldn't be considering a cross country move, either. However, my life has always been anything but normal. Milo better get used to travel because I cant wait to watch him experience new places and cultures for the first time.

Elaine Turner

I am still on the fence about moving back to Utah. Which does not make Michael happy one bit. We had another fight this week, and this one was a doosy. I have been so forgiving and I try to understand his side, but when he doesn't get his way he can be so abusive emotionally. He is very controlling, a master manipulator, and he uses words that cut right down to the bone. What worries me most is that he always has an excuse or reason for his actions, and shows no remorse. It is somehow always someone else's fault. I don't trust him and definitely don't want that kind of example set for my son. His abuse is so extreme that I have reconsidered getting a protection order. This was also considered at the early part of my pregnancy as well.

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I have seen a glimpse of the life Milo and I could build here, in Ohio. With my friends, old and new, and the freedom my business has to grow here, staying in Ohio isn't a bad option. I told Michael that if I were to go back to Utah it would have to be before the baby comes. I can't live my life in limbo knowing my time in Ohio is temporary. Becoming a mother I want to build a home and settle, nesting is what they call it. I also told him I want us to talk to someone, a professional that works with problems like his. Someone to help us communicate in positive ways and get to the reason behind his need to be so abusive. I also put my foot down and said if he gets out of control one more time I will have to file the abuse protection order, I will not be going to Utah, and I will change my phone number. I do hope we can work out these issues, and he can become a better man for our son. Because of Milo I have given Michael his fair share of second chances. On the other hand because of Milo I have to be more cautious than ever before. His safety and well being is my number one priority.
Famous Footwear

Hopefully, time will tell. Next month Michael wants me to come out to Salt Lake and check out some potential neighborhoods. He thinks my business will do great there and mentioned opening a small shop. The tourist traffic couldn't hurt, and if that works I would love to work my schedule around Milo, instead of going back to a nine to five. Honestly, I'm basing a lot of my decision on this trip. How Michael acts, how we get along, if I like the area, and if we can find a place we both agree on. I pray the right thing to do will come to me in meditation, we will see...

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