Week 16... Every Little Thing Gunna Be Alright

by - April 14, 2016

So this week has been pretty busy. Even with leaving my job I feel like I am busier now than before. I passed my drivers exam this week. Now I can do things more independently. There is not an abundance of public transit in my hometown, located in northeastern Ohio. Though from time to time I miss the ease and eco friendliness of public transit systems. Not having to follow a route schedule or wait on an Uber during my pregnancy has been a blessing in itself. I have been dying to get behind the wheel of my "new to me" mom mobile. It's been great to just go be alone, shop when I want or need to, hang with friends, or satisfy those random cravings.

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I had an appointment with Dr. Funk this week. The first appointment I went to alone. He said everything is looking and sounding great. He checked the baby's heart beat and he sounds nice and strong. My belly was even measured for the first time this week. Not sure how I feel about that yet, but he assured me my growing bump is right on track. I asked again about my appetite and uncontrollable food aversions. I have also been extremely tired. Just the simplest things ware me out now adays. Taking a shower, going to the store, or all these interviews have been exhausting. I am sleeping at the most random times of day and waking up at all hours of the night. His response, "welcome to pregnancy". He said I can try to eat as healthy as I can but sometimes I have to deal with what my body says. Even if that means not being able to eat anything at all. My weight is also on track, and the good thing is I have not had any morning sickness, besides that episode in the shower, weeks ago. Pregnancy varies from woman to woman and even child to child.
Blue & Cream
For the first time Dr. Funk's chilly personal skills eased my uneasy nerves. One thing about going to that appointment alone, is it made me realize how lonely I have been. In the begining I was so strong and felt like I could do everything alone. Now I'm becoming overwhelmed by the pressure. Each milestone that passes I become more and more aware time is running out. With my ever expanding bump it is getting harder to find a job and there are so many things I still need to do and get before he arrives. I wish I had someone there for me. I am starting to wish things would have been different with Michael. We went straight to hormones and "I hate you's". We never tried to make this work till after I moved 1800 miles away. Leaving has still proven to be the best decision, but his efforts are still too little too late.

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Michael says not to worry. Yes, he is back in the picture, and has been better. Here's to him keeping it up, my fingers are crossed. He finally has been pushed through the steps of hire with human resources at his old job and went up to northern Nevada for an interview. Everything went well, we are both hoping he can start this higher paying position soon. He has been trying to get back into his old company since we found out I was pregnant. Just like everything else these things take time. I should listen to the one piece of helpful advise he has given me and not worry. He has been telling me everything is going to work out. I know all this stress and worry isn't good for the baby so I have been trying to leave my faith in him and fate. It's hard though with his track record, bouncing around like a pin ball in a game machine. On the other hand fate has never let me down before. Some how, some way my life has always figured out a way to have everything work out just in time. I have been so caught up in planning the future that I have been forgetting to focus and enjoy the present. Obviously things need to be planned for to some extent, but I have always had a way of taking things way too far.

Birthday in a Box



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