Week 14... Calgon Take Me Away

by - March 31, 2016

This week has been a slower week than ones in the past and I am ok with that. Many were celebrating the Easter holiday. Work was slower than the normal slow, due to everyone cooking up delicious meals at home. Which is probably what I should have been doing instead of stuffing my face with onion rings. My appetite has been terrible. I can go hours without being hungry while the thought of any food grosses me out. However during the most random and inconvenient times, I will all of a sudden be starving. Which led me to order some food at work, where not long after, I started to get violently ill. My holiday weekend consisted of a me feeling down right awful. No candy, no dinner, no desserts. Just the left overs my mom and her boyfriend brought home. My mom wanted me to go to the hospital, right when she realized something was not right. This was not your run of the mill morning sickness. I am so glad I have been, at least, lucky enough not to deal with much of that. Plus, I am now in my second trimester, the morning sickness and nausea should be subsiding. However, I hate hospitals, waiting for what seems like forever, uncomfortable seating, the cold medical staff, and that smell. If I'm going to be miserable I am at least going to be miserable in my own bed. During day two of this absolutely horrendous start to the weekend, I decided to call the nurses station at my hospital. I was not getting any better. They informed me it was food poisoning and even though I am pregnant I must let it run it's course. She also said that they have received some other patients and calls referring to the same symptoms with the same establishment in common.

Like my lowered appetite wasn't bad enough, food poisoning really!? Since then I have been paying more attention to the kitchen staff. I brought it up to my boss when he asked about my Easter and of course he got defensive and denied it. I have been in restaurants for ten years and in various employment positions. I have been certified by almost every health and safety service out there. I didn't like what I witnessed after paying closer attention. The breeding ground for cross contamination and poor hygiene almost blew my mind. I have never seen anything like it before. So, I went to the market and picked up some groceries. I am going to be bringing my own snacks and meals to work from now on. I don't want anything, especially bacteria or food born illness, from naive carelessness to harm me during my pregnancy. I am already limited on the medications and medical treatments available to me, and my immune system is weakened during this time. I know, this is my first child and maybe I am taking extra precautions, but I am ok with that if it insures our safety during this pregnancy.

Also, this week I have not heard a single peep from Michael. I was not surprised to find that egg empty. (puns intended) Not even a "Happy Easter", "how are you", or "anything new" text. I think I will always hold out some kind of hope that we will make this work or find some miracle way to be a family, till someone else gives me a reason to put that energy elsewhere. It's a nice thought having my son be with both of his parents, but it's an even nicer thought having him grow up to be a happy and confident man. I am no fortune teller but what I have experienced from Michael the entire time we spent together is that he is not the kind of person I want my son looking up too.

These past couple weeks have made me think of what I miss most about not being pregnant. The answer to that are nice long, hot, steamy bubble baths. During pregnancy I can not raise my body temperature over 101 degrees, due to the harm it can cause the baby. So I said bye bye to hot tubs and bubble baths a while ago. Warm showers for this momma for now. I have been checking things off my "to do" list left and right lately and when I get some time to chill and breathe I spend it hurled over a bucket. Not my idea of a relaxing weekend. Before my pregnancy I would have rushed straight for an essential oil infused soak, to make myself feel better. I wish I could just sit in a giant tub with a glass of wine, a nice book, and some lilac scented bubble bath and let it melt my stress away. Only 25 weeks left till that wish can come true, but who's counting.

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