Week 12... Positivity & Productivity

by - March 15, 2016

This has been a very pro/con kind of week. During my last doctors appointment he requested that I schedule an ultrasound that detects if the baby has down syndrome or not. This made me incredibly nervous. Of course I don't want to hear anything come out of any doctors mouth besides, "your baby is going to be perfectly healthy." Life is hard enough, I don't want anything to make it any harder for my little one. Without a doubt, I put making the appointment off till after the weekend. Alongside my nerves on the edge of eruption, with all that is going on, this appointment was constantly dangling in the back of my mind. When Monday came speeding around the corner, I finally got the courage to call and schedule the appointment. I am waiting to hear back for a day to come in. Cleveland Clinic in Medina is having some problems with their ultrasound department from what the nurse told me. So the dangling continues, all I can do is keep my fingers crossed and think positively.

On to some pros, I found a nice morning job in the town I am trying to move to. Been working on expanding and preparing to launch a new collection to my Etsy Store. Scheduled an appointment for a new exam and new eye glasses. Paid the fee for my license, and since I had let them expire, I called about retaking my drivers test. I'm going to look like an old lady compared to the sea of hand shakily anxious teens awaiting their destiny, in the BMV waiting room. By the time I hopefully pass my test on the first try, with what I will be making and the amount I already have saved, I should be able to find a vehicle and be mobile by the beginning of April. Things definitely are not perfect the way they are now, but at least the ball is rolling. My checklist of things I need to do before the baby comes is actually getting smaller.

I am just so excited to start looking for apartments of my own. A healthy and safe place to call home. One I can start settling into and getting prepared for the baby's arrival. I already found a bunch of furniture on ikea.com and I'm over the moon to hit up a Home Goods. They don't have Home Goods on the west coast, as far as I know, so I have been severely craving some inspiration to do some decorating. Obviously I can get things as time goes along, I am just eager to get the baby stuff set up and ready to go. Make everything as cozy as I can for now.

All of this would have been beyond impossible for me to complete in Southern Utah. With the seclusion, constant abuse from Michael, and negativity from the people at the resort. One thing I do regret about having to leave so suddenly was that I never got to see Salt Lake. The only area of actual civilization in the whole state. That area seemed so charming from my research on the internet. Parks, mountain views, greenery. However, I wasn't thinking of sight seeing while I was packing my luggage, to escape that prison. I was thinking about getting my baby and myself to a safer more productive and positive environment. Maybe one day we will spend Christmas in Park City skiing, drinking hot chocolate, and building a snowman. I always wanted to travel for Christmas and just spend some nice quality time with my mom. My goal as a parent is to make sure my child has an abundance of all the things I craved as a child. Love, understanding, laughter, and happy memories. It definitely gives me a warm fuzzy feeling thinking about my child and I laughing and having a good time together. Happiness will be our lifestyle, and love will be our religion.

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